Love, Loss and Ceremony

It’s fair to say that most of us have lost someone we love. Some one that has transitioned, from this life to the next.

For you personally, it is the first thought that popped into your mind when you read “lost love.”

The holidays are full of fun and celebration. They also tug at your heart because you are missing the loved ones, who are not here. The holidays can bring increased stress and grief.

If we do not find a way to honor those special people, we carry sadness around with us. You cannot wish it away.

You cannot ignore it. That feeling of grief has to be given its due attention.  It affects not only how you feel, but it but it affects how you relate to the family and friends that are still here.

I have been involved with Hospice for a long time. Each year at the beginning of the holiday season, they hold a tree lighting ceremony. The names of those folks that they have “walked Home” are written on ornaments and placed on the tree. There are Bagpipers and remembrances. You can participate as little or much as you choose.

It was this ceremony that taught me how important it is to, not only recognize loss, but more importantly sit in gratitude for the gift that was, that person. How lucky we are to have someone we love so much.

If you participate in a ceremony at the beginning of the holiday season, you sit with the loss and with love found. It will allow you move through the rest of the season without guilt.

Your loved one does not want you to be sad. They want you to dance and sing and keep loving life.

A ceremony doesn’t have to be a public display.  A ceremony can be private and simple.

Play a certain song, light a candle, read a book  or a greeting card that reminds you of them, close your eyes and thank them. The ceremony marks the passage of time. It carries the energy of the one we love with us in our remembrance and willingness to grow.

I saw a movie recently where the actor placed stones in a circle. Each stone represented the energy of someone he missed.  I really love that idea. You can use pebbles, marbles, shells, or even playing cards in a circle acknowledging the never ending cycle of love and life.

Consider a creating ceremony private or public. Then allow yourself to move forward with an open and loving heart.candle_Candle_light_3011

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